Wow. It's been over 2 years since I've felt inspired to write down anything in-depth to share with anyone else. I even forgot which blog site I was using way back when I decided to give this stuff a shot… Turns out sharing what I was thinking was not something I ended up being very keen on. BUT several ideas have all been working on me the last few months, and I think it's about time I body-slam the tangled mess of thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head during many fitfully sleepless nights. It wouldn't be the first time I've been accused (and rightly so) of over-analyzing things, but maybe if I write it down it'll all sort itself out. So here we go again… I hope you enjoy.
The first major thought that I've been wrestling with lately is, "Don't become weary in doing good." This of course comes from Galatians 6: 9-10, which says, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."
Well, like most things, this is much easier said than done. Another way of saying it goes like this: It might be simple, but it sure ain't easy. Sure, just keep on doing what's right no matter what. And not only do what's right, but keep doing GOOD. Not the adjective, the noun. GOOD. Easy enough, right? Well yeah, everybody loves lending a helping hand, don't they? I mean I do. I love that "feely-good" feeling when I do "good." But what about when "doing good" sets me back, I mean like reeeally sticks me between a rock and a hard place, or is reeeeally inconvenient or reeeeally annoying? What then? Do I still get that feely-good feeling, or do I start looking for the EXIT sign. I'll be honest… most times when "doing good" gets to that level, I'm getting ready to speed-rope out of there, tap, roll, and run. All of that, of course, depends upon FOR whom I'm doing the good. You know what I mean… Is there a vested interest there? Is it a family member, a close friend, or somebody who really needs the good done for them? Or is it an acquaintance, or a stranger, or somebody we know who always seems to need something no matter how much they get?
Woah. Shtuff just got REAL right there. I thiiiink I just jumped on the judgement bandwagon. What's the best way to get off that wagon? Well, most times it's to quit looking through the "ME" lens. I mean, I've been blessed with some dang good bio-physical eyes, but I catch myself wearing those stylish ME shades pretty often and have to conscientiously swap them out for God-focals. What did that verse say? "Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to aaaaall people…," which means as each opportunity presents itself, I really shouldn't place it on the "How Much Does Ty REALLY Want To Do This" scale. It's an opportunity to do good, so just do it! Right? Well, that's right, but I'm human and I struggle with the whole "scale" thing…priorities I guess. Plus I'm a dude. I have to categorize and weigh and measure and rate and rank and fix things. Every-things. With an "s".
A person I know said it best on Facebook the other day (and Facebook confirms the story) when he put it this way, "Some people just flat-out make things difficult for others and I'm not sure why. It is my prayer that I do my best to decrease the difficulty in others' lives, not increase it." Well-put, Mr. Will.
To me, this is as practical as it gets. It rings in harmony with the Golden Rule and the 2nd Greatest Command. Doing GOOD for others, essentially - as far as I'm defining it right this second, subject to change without warning, yes this is a run-on sentence - is making their lives easier, or benefitting their well-being. This may be a brief, momentary action, or it may be a long-term thing. So how do we "do good" for others, and how does it tie into the other major thought that has been pinballing around in my noggin?
We humans, even the worst of us, have a feeling and ability deep inside us that allows us to identify a "need" when we see it. That feeling/instinct/whatever you want to call it is called compassion. Some folks are just better than others at knowing what to do to act on that feeling. Doing good for someone else usually involves sacrifice (or giving) of yourself. You might sacrifice some of your time, give some advice, or share some of your wealth or skill in order to make someone's life easier, but a lot of the time "doing good" is easiest when one can take physical action in order to help someone (changing a tire, buying somebody's lunch, etc). Other times, doing "good" for someone may just come down to being honest with them, and that's where the second part of my title "Don't be afraid to give an (honest) answer" comes into play. This is where this blog will get a little bit personal for me and address an issue I've observed in our society.
I may just be the last dope on the planet who believes that a truthful answer, even what could be perceived as a "mean" or brutally-honest answer, is better (more helpful/useful) than NO answer. To me, an honest and truthful answer that I probably don't want to hear is better than no answer at all. I can DO something with it. Proverbs 24:26 says, "An honest answer is like a kiss of friendship." (NLT). The NIV gets even more mushy-gushy and goes with, "An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips."
Why is this? Well, let's go back to the "decreasing the difficulty in others' lives" thing for a second while we simultaneously throw in a dude-style ranking system to boot.
Visualize someone walking along an unfamiliar path in the woods. We'll say this is a trail in the "Your Life Wilderness." It just so happens that you've been traveling this trail for a long, long time, you know it pretty well, and you're sitting there at a point where the trail branches in several different directions, snacking on a sandwich and keeping an eye out for Yogi the bear so he doesn't sneak up and steal your pic-a-nic basket. All of a sudden, this new person comes upon the branch in the trail where you are sitting. Seeing you there, this person asks if you know this trail very well. Well of course you do; it's the Your Life Wilderness. You own it. In fact, you know which direction this person needs to go in order to move forward in Your Life. As I see it, you have 3 options in this situation: 1) You can be harmful to this person, 2) you can avoid harming or helping this person, or 3) you can "do good" and be helpful to this person. How do those 3 choices play out?
1) If someone is unfamiliar with a trail in the Your Life Wilderness, you can be harmful to this person by lying to them about which way to go and sending them in the wrong direction.
2) If someone is unfamiliar with a trail in the Your Life Wilderness, you can keep silent and avoid telling this person which way to go, leaving them stuck and confused.
3) If someone is unfamiliar with a trail in the Your Life Wilderness, you can "do good" and give this person a direction to take. It may take them deeper into the Your Life Wilderness, or it may lead them out of it. The key is that it's Your Life. You own it and you know it, but besides the Lord, only you can help others navigate into it, through it, or out of it.
This is where the dude-style rankings come into play. On a scale of worst, better, best, the worst option is to lie to someone. Slightly better than a lie (but only barely) is to not give an answer, or to avoid the situation. I'm guilty of taking this second option, too, but I'm trying to stop doing that. The best option, and the one we shouldn't be afraid of, is to give an honest answer. It may not even be the answer someone wants to hear, but think about this for a second: Would you rather someone respect you enough to take the time to give you an answer you don't like, or would you rather feel like that person doesn't value or respect you enough as a person to "waste" his or her time on you? We're told that patience is a virtue, but how frustrating and how confusing can it be to patiently wait on an answer and never get one?
I know what you're thinking, "Well buddy, maybe there's a hint… no answer means the answer is probably NO." Maybe. Sometimes when God doesn't answer, His answer is really, "Not yet." But that's God. To me, and with other people, no answer is not an answer. It's just my opinion, but I believe we would be much better served to be honest with each other. That does NOT mean that we have to go around freely giving our honest OPINION on everything. I'm talking about when someone asks for an answer, give it to them. That answer may even be, "I don't know." If someone crosses your path in life, help them know which way to go. If you can tell someone is making a concentrated effort to be in your life, but you don't want them there or you know they will only end up frustrated trying to stay there, give them a different direction. Help them move on. It may be awkward; it may sting a little, but in the end you're "doing good" because they're not stuck, and they're not going the wrong way.
The most harm that we can do to a person is to remove their feeling of worth from them. As long as a person knows that he or she is worth something, he or she will have hope. When a person loses sight of his or her worth, hope tends to fade.
^^^^^
*Hold this thought for another post coming later this week.*
There's a reason we're told to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us…the reason is that even our enemies are worth something. They were (and are) worth the Blood of Jesus Christ, just like you, and just like me. We may not see this in the moment or have this thought at the forefront of our mind all the time, and we might even lose sight of our OWN worth from time to time, but God thought we were worth it, or else he wouldn't have sent His Son in the first place. That's the evidence.
I'm not going to say we have to agree with (or even like) everyone we meet in this life, but I do believe it is our duty to "do good" for all people who come across our path by making their lives less difficult. And when it comes to giving honest answers, keep in mind that constructive criticism is one thing, but look for the good in people. You will never turn a person bitter or cynical faster than you will by insulting the good that is in them, by degrading or making the good that they have done seem worthless, or by ignoring them when they're trying to do something good for you. People don't like to be used, taken advantage of, or unappreciated, which is where our saying, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me," comes from.
*Side Note* An honest answer doesn't necessarily have to be with words. Pay attention to your gut instinct. Especially in today's world, if you run into a situation where one of your "friends" online becomes abusive or just flat-out hateful, blocking or deleting that person sends a very clear message, "I will not tolerate this sort of behavior." If it's a situation you KNOW you should not be in, take action and be clear about it. "I'm not talking to you anymore; please leave me alone," can come across as mean, but sometimes that is what needs to be said, and those words need to be accompanied with appropriate action to create separation in that situation.
That being said, consider that you might run into someone who is very hateful toward you, but even in their hatefulness they are looking for answers to deeper questions or spiritual questions. How you handle a situation like this might be the only glimpse of hope in humanity or the only example of the love of Christ that someone gets to see in their world. I bring this up because one of my friends crossed paths with an individual in college who was (from the sound of it) viciously hateful towards her, but he would ask questions like, "How can you believe in a god like that?" or, "You can't seriously believe all this Jesus stuff can you? Sure, just belieeeeve in Jesus. What a joke." She told me it was one of the most difficult things she's ever had to do (putting up with that sort of treatment), but looking back on it now it's obvious that the Spirit was working in her to get to him. She said when faced with an attitude and snarky questions like that, her instinct and personality would normally have told her to jump right back in someone's face and go into "debate mode" (my description of it), but with him it was different. Every time. Every time he tried to get under her skin, it bothered her, but what came out of her mouth was a calm answer to share how she knows her Savior personally and what He has done in her life. It was not an easy road to go down, but now she and that guy are the best of friends and he has gone from being someone who absolutely hated God to someone who is on fire for Jesus! That is such a powerful example to me, and it's one that I have gone back to and thought about quite a bit.
To wrap this all up and put a nice little bow on it, don't grow weary in doing good, and have the courage and the faith to be honest with people. Help others to navigate deeper into, through, or out of the Wilderness of Your Life, but do good to them by acknowledging their worth and giving them a new direction.
I hope this has given you some good food for thought for this week. Blessings in the days ahead!
In Him,
Tyson L. Basye
P.S. The new movie God's Not Dead? Go see it! I loved it.
No comments:
Post a Comment