The Power of An Encourager: Worth, Hope, & Survival

As promised, this post is a follow-up on part of the last one I put up. If you read the last one, you might remember the thought I said to hold onto until I got this post up. If you didn't read the last post, here's the thought I said to hold on to: As long as a person knows that he or she is worth something, he or she will have hope. When a person loses sight of his or her worth, hope tends to fade. This is a topic that appears dark on the surface, and it can be, but I promise there's a light at the end of the tunnel if you choose to read on.

Some of you may be aware that I try to send out a "Happy Friday!" text of some sort nearly every week. Usually they contain some quote or scripture or something and a wish for a happy Friday and a good weekend. Like many things, I understand that doing something habitually or making it part of a routine runs the risk of diminishing its impact or gives the impression of just "going through the motions." I'm sure some folks even get annoyed by "happy Friday" texts that come at the wrong time, like riiiight before a major test that they've been studying for for 3 days straight and they're stressed to the max and on their last nerve, or that text may show up right in the middle of a Friday that isn't exactly going according to plan. I get it. Timing is definitely everything. In faaact, there is a reason there's a proverb that says, "If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse." (Proverbs 27:14). Moral of the story? Some people just aren't morning people… Or maybe not. The moral is probably something more along the lines of, "Don't just know what to say, but more importantly, when to say it. All of that being said, there's a reason I've made a point to send out the happy Friday texts and check in on my friends regularly.

That reason is because I lost a good friend my senior year in high school. She was a couple of years ahead of me in school, so she had already graduated, and even though I thought about her a lot, I hadn't really kept up with her that much. However, I actually called her about a week and a half before she passed because I was going to have some senior pictures taken in the town where I thought she was living and I thought I'd see if she might be in town for lunch or dinner or something. Talking to her that day I knew something was up, but honestly with her being a high-school crush from back in the day, I was so nervous talking to her I really didn't know the right questions to ask, and I didn't want to be too nosy or keep her on the phone too long.

To move through this part of the story quickly, I found out after a football game about a week and a half later that she had taken her own life, and that rocked my world like nothing I'd ever experienced. It just didn't make any sense; this girl was someone who appeared to be one of the happiest people you'd ever meet! So why? The loss was hard enough; but hearing what people said about it afterward was torturous.

That was a long time ago, but just the other day I was visiting with another good friend and the topic came up that we both really miss that girl. Then my friend made a statement very similar to, "Suicide just makes me so mad! It's so selfish." My response to that was, "Yeah, but that's a very mean way to look at it. That's something that unless you have been there and looked it right in the eyes, it's impossible to understand or explain." That conversation ended right there and I didn't know what to make of it.

I've heard all the reasoning behind what my friend said, and I understand it. "Don't make a permanent decision because you're temporarily upset," or "That was just a cry for attention," or "Just count your blessings. No matter how bad you think you've got it, somebody else has it worse," or "Just focus on what you can do for others and your troubles will take a back seat in your mind," or, "Just focus on the good! It's easy! Don't be a 'glass half empty' kind of person." I get that too. A lot of times, folks very easily and flippantly draw the conclusion that making a decision like that is a selfish thing to do, the "easy" way out you could say. And you know what? Maybe they're right. But let me let you in on a little something if you aren't already…

A decision like that is not something that happens overnight.

Yes there are selfish and evil examples of suicide, but most of the time, a person has been so depressed, or so lonely, or so broken-hearted, or so wounded, or so hopeless, or all of that for so long that they just don't want to hurt anymore. To say that is selfish is like telling a person who has had a dislocated joint for years, "I know that hurts, but just be happy! Don't look for attention; count your blessings! Just don't think about it and things will get better!" And for anyone thinking, "Weeell, that's not really the same," yes it is. The pain is very present and very real, and regardless of your "pain tolerance," you can't just wish it away or ignore it at that point. It's a lot like a broken bone (and if you've never had one of those, good for you) in the sense that even though it's broken, a lot of times the pain from it isn't excruciating until you try to move it or you're reminded of it, but it still hurts. I've spent a lot of time in at chiropractors' offices… Sometimes when I go in to get everything lined back up, it's been so out of whack for so long that I have no idea how much pain I'm actually in until it goes away, and without that chiropractor, I wouldn't be able to make the pain go away. That can work in reverse, too. Sometimes I don't understand how good I actually feel until something really hurts and doesn't go away. When someone makes the decision to end that sort of pain, it's not usually a permanent decision to a "temporary" problem. It's a desperate action in an ongoing situation that has no end in sight, and people can't seem to grasp this concept unless they have been in a situation like that themselves. We've all dealt with disappointment and bad days, and usually even some major heartbreak, but when it comes to someone making that final decision, be very very careful about assuming it was just the "short and easy way out."

After all that happened back in high school, I remember feeling my heart being shredded all over again while I was sitting at a concert listening to Casting Crowns perform "Does Anybody Hear Her". I made a promise to myself right there I would make more of an effort to be perceptive of others, and I would reeeally try to tune in to my friends and be there to listen if they needed it. I admit I've failed in some instances. I'm sure we are all related to (or know) someone who is a just "negative Nancy" or whatever, and I think you understand for yourself you can't wade into that arena 24/7 and not have it wear on you. That's where honesty with that person may sting a little, but it may help them break the cycle. But this is where I want to make the turn and start heading toward the positive side of this post…

I read a book several years ago that inspired me to become a student of fear. More directly, it made me consider what fear is, what causes it, what contains it, and what the opposite of fear is. Not only did I start studying the elements and consequences of fear, but I dug into what people are capable of when it comes to survival. What makes a survivor? To what lengths will some people go in order to make it through some of the most challenging and unfathomable circumstances? Some of the stories you can find when it comes to extreme survival will blow your mind.

What I found through all the digging was that there are essentially two elements of survival that can individually motivate someone to overcome, or they can work in conjunction to carry someone through to the end. These two elements are:
1) The fear of death, and
2) The will to live.

I think you can see how those two elements work together. Remove one or both of those elements from someone facing a life-and-death situation, and their chances of survival go down dramatically, but I would argue that one of these elements is more important than the other.

Fear is an instinct we've been given that helps us survive. We've all heard of the "fight or flight" instinct. Fear is a large part of that instinct. It's a lot like pain in the sense that if something doesn't feel right, we take action to change the situation in order to preserve our health or life. When it comes to fear of death itself, that kind of fear can put us into hyper-drive and empower us to overcome an extreme life-or-death situation should we come face-to-face with one. However, there are some situations where the fear of death is no longer the motivating factor (or it is not taken into consideration) for whether or not a person will fight and hang on to life or give up. A few examples of this that I can think of right off the top of my head are a desensitization to death itself (the thought of it death not new or foreign or uncomfortable), an extreme protective instinct (think momma bear protecting her cubs…she doesn't care about herself; she's defending her young), or extreme or prolonged pain and suffering (just make it stop). Now for the other side of it.

I know several people who genuinely have ZERO fear of death. They know what it is, and they're ready for it when it comes, but they do not fear it. I tell you this: you will never see a faith more real than you will when you look in the eyes of a man who truly is ready to meet his Lord at any moment, but will do whatever he needs to in order to allow someone else to find that peace. Those kinds of people do not fear death, but they continue to be survivors because of their will to live. Mark Twain said, "The two most important days of your life are the day you are born…and the day you find out WHY." Whether it is a life's worth of work, an unfinished goal/task, a spouse, children, or the buddy right next to you in the fox hole, to have a purpose, a mission, a responsibility, or one or more reasons to hang on to life can pull someone through a life-or-death situation. Why do you think warriors for eons have carried mementoes of their loved ones off to battle? Why do you think fighter pilots put pictures of their sweethearts or their kids right around their instruments in their war planes? Why do you think the bonds formed between brothers and sisters in arms or during extreme life-and-death adventures are so strong? It's because every single one of those connections is a reason for someone to keep on living! There's a certain bond created between two people when the life of one rests solely in the hands of the other, or depends solely upon the other's success or failure. To know that you are worth something to somebody or even anybody can make all the difference in the world.

This is where the power of the encourager comes SCREAMING into focus. I once heard a good preacher-man friend say he was of the opinion that the gift of encouragement was the most underrated of all the spiritual gifts, but what a powerful gift it is. Some of the other gifts, like teaching, prophesy, giving, leading, and showing mercy tend to get the spotlight because they can be flashy or "neat" or impressive or come from a position of power (see Romans 12). Now, "motivational speakers" can be pretty flashy when it comes to "encouraging" others, but I think true encouragement (when it's needed the most) comes deep in the trenches, behind the scenes, on sleepless nights, and at just the right time when the light at the end of someone's tunnel is about to flicker and go out.

When I think of "true" encouragement, I picture a matchless and lighterless hippie survivorman on Discovery channel, huddled in the woods as darkness falls and the storm clouds start rolling in, gingerly cupping his last wisp of dry tinder around the tiny ember he's finally caught after an hour of spinning one stick on top of another. Then with a perfectly timed, "Come on, baby," or two, he gently breathes precious oxygen onto the ember, setting his tinder bundle ablaze and securing warmth and life for one more night in a dark and cold world.

This description might be a little corny or "over-the-top," but the right word, from the right person, at the right time, can reaffirm someone's worth to them and give them hope for tomorrow, giving them the boost they need to make it through. The following picture/note has been floating around Facebook recently, and I think it captures every thought I've just shared in just a few short lines, except of course it's a girl telling the story:

On a side note, people might ask, "From a Christian perspective, or at least a God-fearing perspective, shouldn't people know they're never alone, and shouldn't that be a sufficiently encouraging message in itself?" Well, I guess you could say that. Consider this: What if there are people out there who feel like they're only worth something to God, but no one is showing that to them or reminding them that they are valued here and now by someone? I can guarantee you those people are out there. Why mess around with this world if you can just go be with God? Paul considered it. Job thought about it. Jonah talked to God about it. There is a reason different songs talk about people being the loneliest in a crowd. Robin Williams said, "I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone."

I must admit that I have been blessed with some fantastic friends in my life, and I rarely give them enough credit. So from me personally, if  you have ever made an effort to offer me encouragement, or if you consciously make an effort to encourage others, thank you! If you are someone who doesn't think you have the "gift" of encouragement, try it out! It could just be "liking" the Facebook status of one of your friends who might be less popular. That could send the message, "I appreciate you and what you have to say." If some weird, random feeling to check on or talk to someone hits you from out of the blue, don't dismiss that! That's probably the Spirit prompting you to be a blessing to him or her. It may be a note, or a text, or a call, or even just a wave and a smile, but you could turn somebody's day or week around, or you might just save a life… you just never know.

Thanks, y'all. If you have read this, or if you have ever gotten a happy Friday text, it wasn't just because it's Friday and that's what I do on Fridays… You are valued and appreciated and loved for the person and the friend that you are. So y'all have a happy Friday, and look for opportunities to ENCOURAGE this weekend!

In Him,

Tyson L. Basye

Don't Become Weary In Doing Good / Don't Be Afraid To Give An (Honest) Answer

Wow. It's been over 2 years since I've felt inspired to write down anything in-depth to share with anyone else. I even forgot which blog site I  was using way back when I decided to give this stuff a shot… Turns out sharing what I was thinking was not something I ended up being very keen on. BUT several ideas have all been working on me the last few months, and I think it's about time I body-slam the tangled mess of thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head during many fitfully sleepless nights. It wouldn't be the first time I've been accused (and rightly so) of over-analyzing things, but maybe if I write it down it'll all sort itself out. So here we go again… I hope you enjoy.

The first major thought that I've been wrestling with lately is, "Don't become weary in doing good." This of course comes from Galatians 6: 9-10, which says, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."

Well, like most things, this is much easier said than done. Another way of saying it goes like this: It might be simple, but it sure ain't easy. Sure, just keep on doing what's right no matter what. And not only do what's right, but keep doing GOOD. Not the adjective, the noun. GOOD. Easy enough, right? Well yeah, everybody loves lending a helping hand, don't they? I mean I do. I love that "feely-good" feeling when I do "good." But what about when "doing good" sets me back, I mean like reeeally sticks me between a rock and a hard place, or is reeeeally inconvenient or reeeeally annoying? What then? Do I still get that feely-good feeling, or do I start looking for the EXIT sign. I'll be honest… most times when "doing good" gets to that level, I'm getting ready to speed-rope out of there, tap, roll, and run. All of that, of course, depends upon FOR whom I'm doing the good. You know what I mean… Is there a vested interest there? Is it a family member, a close friend, or somebody who really needs the good done for them? Or is it an acquaintance, or a stranger, or somebody we know who always seems to need something no matter how much they get?

Woah. Shtuff just got REAL right there. I thiiiink I just jumped on the judgement bandwagon. What's the best way to get off that wagon? Well, most times it's to quit looking through the "ME" lens. I mean, I've been blessed with some dang good bio-physical eyes, but I catch myself wearing those stylish ME shades pretty often and have to conscientiously swap them out for God-focals. What did that verse say? "Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to aaaaall people…," which means as each opportunity presents itself, I really shouldn't place it on the "How Much Does Ty REALLY Want To Do This" scale. It's an opportunity to do good, so just do it! Right? Well, that's right, but I'm human and I struggle with the whole "scale" thing…priorities I guess. Plus I'm a dude. I have to categorize and weigh and measure and rate and rank and fix things. Every-things. With an "s".

A person I know said it best on Facebook the other day (and Facebook confirms the story) when he put it this way, "Some people just flat-out make things difficult for others and I'm not sure why. It is my prayer that I do my best to decrease the difficulty in others' lives, not increase it." Well-put, Mr. Will.

To me, this is as practical as it gets. It rings in harmony with the Golden Rule and the 2nd Greatest Command. Doing GOOD for others, essentially - as far as I'm defining it right this second, subject to change without warning, yes this is a run-on sentence - is making their lives easier, or benefitting their well-being. This may be a brief, momentary action, or it may be a long-term thing. So how do we "do good" for others, and how does it tie into the other major thought that has been pinballing around in my noggin?

We humans, even the worst of us, have a feeling and ability deep inside us that allows us to identify a "need" when we see it. That feeling/instinct/whatever you want to call it is called compassion. Some folks are just better than others at knowing what to do to act on that feeling. Doing good for someone else usually involves sacrifice (or giving) of yourself. You might sacrifice some of your time, give some advice, or share some of your wealth or skill in order to make someone's life easier, but a lot of the time "doing good" is easiest when one can take physical action in order to help someone (changing a tire, buying somebody's lunch, etc). Other times, doing "good" for someone may just come down to being honest with them, and that's where the second part of my title "Don't be afraid to give an (honest) answer" comes into play. This is where this blog will get a little bit personal for me and address an issue I've observed in our society.

I may just be the last dope on the planet who believes that a truthful answer, even what could be perceived as a "mean" or brutally-honest answer, is better (more helpful/useful) than NO answer. To me, an honest and truthful answer that I probably don't want to hear is better than no answer at all. I can DO something with it. Proverbs 24:26 says, "An honest answer is like a kiss of friendship." (NLT). The NIV gets even more mushy-gushy and goes with, "An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips."

Why is this? Well, let's go back to the "decreasing the difficulty in others' lives" thing for a second while we simultaneously throw in a dude-style ranking system to boot.

Visualize someone walking along an unfamiliar path in the woods. We'll say this is a trail in the "Your Life Wilderness." It just so happens that you've been traveling this trail for a long, long time, you know it pretty well, and you're sitting there at a point where the trail branches in several different directions, snacking on a sandwich and keeping an eye out for Yogi the bear so he doesn't sneak up and steal your pic-a-nic basket. All of a sudden, this new person comes upon the branch in the trail where you are sitting. Seeing you there, this person asks if you know this trail very well. Well of course you do; it's the Your Life Wilderness. You own it. In fact, you know which direction this person needs to go in order to move forward in Your Life. As I see it, you have 3 options in this situation: 1) You can be harmful to this person, 2) you can avoid harming or helping this person, or 3) you can "do good" and be helpful to this person. How do those 3 choices play out?

1) If someone is unfamiliar with a trail in the Your Life Wilderness, you can be harmful to this person by lying to them about which way to go and sending them in the wrong direction.

2) If someone is unfamiliar with a trail in the Your Life Wilderness, you can keep silent and avoid telling this person which way to go, leaving them stuck and confused.

3) If someone is unfamiliar with a trail in the Your Life Wilderness, you can "do good" and give this person a direction to take. It may take them deeper into the Your Life Wilderness, or it may lead them out of it. The key is that it's Your Life. You own it and you know it, but besides the Lord, only you can help others navigate into it, through it, or out of it.

This is where the dude-style rankings come into play. On a scale of worst, better, best, the worst option is to lie to someone. Slightly better than a lie (but only barely) is to not give an answer, or to avoid the situation. I'm guilty of taking this second option, too, but I'm trying to stop doing that. The best option, and the one we shouldn't be afraid of, is to give an honest answer. It may not even be the answer someone wants to hear, but think about this for a second: Would you rather someone respect you enough to take the time to give you an answer you don't like, or would you rather feel like that person doesn't value or respect you enough as a person to "waste" his or her time on you? We're told that patience is a virtue, but how frustrating and how confusing can it be to patiently wait on an answer and never get one?

I know what you're thinking, "Well buddy, maybe there's a hint… no answer means the answer is probably NO." Maybe. Sometimes when God doesn't answer, His answer is really, "Not yet." But that's God. To me, and with other people, no answer is not an answer. It's just my opinion, but I believe we would be much better served to be honest with each other. That does NOT mean that we have to go around freely giving our honest OPINION on everything. I'm talking about when someone asks for an answer, give it to them. That answer may even be, "I don't know."  If someone crosses your path in life, help them know which way to go. If you can tell someone is making a concentrated effort to be in your life, but you don't want them there or you know they will only end up frustrated trying to stay there, give them a different direction. Help them move on. It may be awkward; it may sting a little, but in the end you're "doing good" because they're not stuck, and they're not going the wrong way.

The most harm that we can do to a person is to remove their feeling of worth from them. As long as a person knows that he or she is worth something, he or she will have hope. When a person loses sight of his or her worth, hope tends to fade.

^^^^^
*Hold this thought for another post coming later this week.*

There's a reason we're told to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us…the reason is that even our enemies are worth something. They were (and are) worth the Blood of Jesus Christ, just like you, and just like me. We may not see this in the moment or have this thought at the forefront of our mind all the time, and we might even lose sight of our OWN worth from time to time, but God thought we were worth it, or else he wouldn't have sent His Son in the first place. That's the evidence.

I'm not going to say we have to agree with (or even like) everyone we meet in this life, but I do believe it is our duty to "do good" for all people who come across our path by making their lives less difficult. And when it comes to giving honest answers, keep in mind that constructive criticism is one thing, but look for the good in people. You will never turn a person bitter or cynical faster than you will by insulting the good that is in them, by degrading or making the good that they have done seem worthless, or by ignoring them when they're trying to do something good for you. People don't like to be used, taken advantage of, or unappreciated, which is where our saying, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me," comes from.

*Side Note* An honest answer doesn't necessarily have to be with words. Pay attention to your gut instinct. Especially in today's world, if you run into a situation where one of your "friends" online becomes abusive or just flat-out hateful, blocking or deleting that person sends a very clear message, "I will not tolerate this sort of behavior." If it's a situation you KNOW you should not be in, take action and be clear about it. "I'm not talking to you anymore; please leave me alone," can come across as mean, but sometimes that is what needs to be said, and those words need to be accompanied with appropriate action to create separation in that situation.

That being said, consider that you might run into someone who is very hateful toward you, but even in their hatefulness they are looking for answers to deeper questions or spiritual questions. How you handle a situation like this might be the only glimpse of hope in humanity or the only example of the love of Christ that someone gets to see in their world. I bring this up because one of my friends crossed paths with an individual in college who was (from the sound of it) viciously hateful towards her, but he would ask questions like, "How can you believe in a god like that?" or, "You can't seriously believe all this Jesus stuff can you? Sure, just belieeeeve in Jesus. What a joke." She told me it was one of the most difficult things she's ever had to do (putting up with that sort of treatment), but looking back on it now it's obvious that the Spirit was working in her to get to him. She said when faced with an attitude and snarky questions like that, her instinct and personality would normally have told her to jump right back in someone's face and go into "debate mode" (my description of it), but with him it was different. Every time. Every time he tried to get under her skin, it bothered her, but what came out of her mouth was a calm answer to share how she knows her Savior personally and what He has done in her life. It was not an easy road to go down, but now she and that guy are the best of friends and he has gone from being someone who absolutely hated God to someone who is on fire for Jesus! That is such a powerful example to me, and it's one that I have gone back to and thought about quite a bit.

To wrap this all up and put a nice little bow on it, don't grow weary in doing good, and have the courage and the faith to be honest with people. Help others to navigate deeper into, through, or out of the Wilderness of Your Life, but do good to them by acknowledging their worth and giving them a new direction.

I hope this has given you some good food for thought for this week. Blessings in the days ahead!

In Him,
Tyson L. Basye

P.S. The new movie God's Not Dead? Go see it! I loved it.

T-Shirts, Toll Roads, and Taylor Swift... Unforgettable

Boooooy-howdy, has it been a while...

FAIR WARNING: THIS ENTRY IS RATHER LENGTHY. YOU MAY NEED TO GET YOUR BOOKMARK READY AND TAKE A COUPLE OF BREAKS WHILE READING IT.

Also, I'd like to send out a special thank-you to Shelby and Cherise for inadvertently providing the encouragement for me to saddle back up and update this blog again. I hope y'all get to read this!

Let's see, where did the inspiration come from this time around?

Well, I think at the base of it all was just a chance to slow down a little bit and come up for air!

Most of the reasons that I haven't written in so long have to do with school school school and a schedule chock-full of all sorts of busy "fun"... Y'all know how that goes.

I found myself sitting on the bus on the way back to my truck after classes the other day, just going over and over all the things I had to get finished for the week. It was one of those moments when you kind of sit back and think, "Man, if I put my nose to the grind stone and work every second of every minute for the next three days, I STILL might not get everything finished on time!"

That thought had just gone through my head when the bus made one of its normal stops on the route and I saw a guy step on wearing a black t-shirt with shiny, scripty letters scrawling "CARPE DIEM" across his chest.

"Ha, yeah, great timing..." I thought, "SEIZE THE DAY." I think the original, direct translation of "carpe diem" is something like, "what will be, will be," but folks have also used it to mean, "live in the moment," and other things like that. But really? That day, at that time?..."Seize the Day"...How fitting.

Well, I that t-shirt put me on a guilt trip. I was worn out at that point in the week, and I reeeally didn't want to seize any more days, or hours, or minutes even...I just wanted to rest for a while.

One thing I've learned, though, is that when I'm at the point where it feels like I can't do any more, can't go any further, can't try any harder, it's good for me in those moments to think about times that I HAVE pushed through, HAVE seized the moment, and HAVE come out on the other side with that sense of accomplishment that makes the effort seem worthwhile.

I leaned my head back against the bus window, closed my eyes, and thought to myself, "All right, Mr. Ty, when was the last time you really 'seized the day'?"

Silence.

Then it started to come back: Last semester, the end of September / beginning of October, after I had been up sick all night and missed the job fair the next day. That was a Tuesday night and Wednesday, and little did I know then that Wednesday night would be the last night with more than 2 1/2 hours of sleep for the next 5 days, but those 5 days would hold one of the coolest adventures and most unforgettable moments up to this point in my life.

Like I said, I pretty much missed the whole engineering job fair that Wednesday because I was sick, but one of the companies I had signed up to talk to called me on Thursday afternoon and asked if I would still be interested in visiting with them.

"Heck yes!" is what I was thinking, but I think the conversation went more like, "Oh, yes sir, that would be great!"

"Ok, son. Good deal. You look at your schedule and see when you might be able to come see us."

This was at about 3:30 on Thursday afternoon. I called him back before 5:00...

"Mr. Janister?"

"Yes sir."

"This is Ty Basye returning your call. How would this Saturday around lunchtime work for you?"

"Sounds great to me, Mr. Basye. Looking forward to seeing you! Just give me a call when you get close to town and I will let you know where we can meet."

Wow, this was spur-of-the-moment, but AWESOME. Turns out, the "town" he was talking about was Kansas City, Missouri... 12 hours away. It also turns out that I'm kind of big on family, and my cousin was to be a Homecoming Queen nominee for her senior class that Friday night, so my "plan" was to watch her participate in the crowning ceremony at halftime of the football game on Friday night and then drive straight to Kansas City to be there in time for my "interview meeting" with Mr. Janister at lunch on Saturday.

Crazy as it sounds, that's exactly what I did, but that's basically just the start of the adventure...

After blazing over toll road after toll road, I met Mr. Janister for lunch at Mama's 39th Street Diner. The "interview meeting" turned out to be more like a "get to know ya" than an actual interview, but I felt like it went really well nevertheless.

We finished our lunch, and then finished our meeting a little bit later. 

Needless to say, on such short notice, I hadn't even booked a hotel room to stay in, and I wasn't about to just turn around and drive 12 hours back to Lubbock on no sleep except a short gas-station-snooze on the way up to KC.

At this point, it was about 1:45 in the afternoon. I started calling hotel after hotel from the list in my trusty little Garmin... All booked. Every one of 'em.

A couple dozen phone calls later, I still hadn't had any luck, and then a cute little voice came over the phone from one of the Residence Inns on the eastern outskirts of Kansas City...

"Residence Inn, this is Danielle. How may I help you?"

"Hi Danielle, I was wondering if y'all (that's right, I said y'all) have any rooms available for tonight, and if you do, how much would it cost to book one?"

"Well let me see; it looks like we still have a couple of rooms open, but those are suites and will run about $128 per night."

Daaah...are you kidding me? I had already tried all the cheap places and they were all booked. I was out of strikes and looking at either spending the night in my truck or finding an IHOP where I could fill up on pancakes and then crash in a booth for a couple of hours before heading back to Lubbock. Neither of those plans sounded particularly appealing.

Who would have thought that TV would come in handy in a situation like this? I've been ardently honing my negotiating skills over the last couple of years by watching countless episodes of Pawn Stars, as well as Priceline commercials starring William Shatner... I had nothing to lose; it was time to take the sparring gloves off, turn on the charm, and put all of that training to use.

"Oh wow. Well Danielle, you sound pretty cool, so here's the deal: I'm looking for something more conducive to a college kid's budget. I'll just be here in town tonight and then I'm heading back home early in the morning."

"Oh really? Where's home?"

"Home is Sweetwater, Texas, but right now I'm going to school at Texas Tech in Lubbock."

"Texas?!? So what brings you to Kansas City, just a weekend roadtrip?"

"Yeah, more or less... I just got finished with what I thought was going to be a 'job interview' sort of thing, and every hotel I've called to find a room has been booked full. What's going on?"

"I've heard there's an art exhibit going on down town and a big concert at Arrowhead Stadium tonight. Are you going to that?"

...No, I wasn't going to a concert. This was news to me, but I figured, "What the heck?" I was 12 hours from home with nothing else scheduled for that night, and going to a concert sounded like fun. The only problem was that I still didn't have an affordable room to stay in! The conversation was going well, though, so I figured I would milk it for all it was worth...

"I hadn't planned on it. Do you know who's playing?"

"I believe it's Taylor Swift. It should be a really good show!"

Pffffft (that was the sound of disappointment). Taylor Swift... not really a big fan, and a stadium full of 12-year-old girls screaming their bloody-murder heads off didn't exactly sound like an evening of fun to me, but I didn't want to kill the good vibe... I still had a hotel room to book.

"Hm, sounds interesting, but at the moment my main concern is finding an affordable place to stay tonight," I said with as much "suave" as I could muster.

That snapped her back to reality, but I was on Danielle's good side now. "Oh yeah! We're still trying to book you a room, aren't we? How much are you thinking for your 'college kid budget'?"

Suddenly, the voice of the Priceline Negotiator was in my head, "Naming your own price, are you?"
'Yeah, they want $128 a night. I'm going $110.'
"Ehhh, you wuss."
'What?' I ask.
"Go lower," it whispers.
'$90,' I counter.
"Mamby-Pamby."
'$75?'
"Cup-Cake."
'But I want a good room!'
"It's a guaranteed suite, Mama's Boy..."
'.....50 bucks.'
"Now you're negotiating!"

The gloves were off; Danielle didn't know what was about to hit her when I poured on, "Ideally, about 45 or 50 bucks since I'm only staying tonight."

"Weeeell, I don't know if I can do that," she answered, "but let me make a couple of calls and see what I can do for you."

She had me on hold, so I sat there listening to the radio in my truck thinking, "Ha, there's no way, but it was worth a shot."

Then she was back on the line, "Sir, it's your lucky day. My boss said we could let you book one of the suites for $60 just for tonight."

I felt like yelling, "BINGO," right into the phone, but I was on a roll so I played it cool. "Sold," I said, "You've got a deal."

Then she gave me instructions on how to get there, got my name and billing address so her boss could be sure to get his 60 bucks one way or the other, and in no time I was on my way to the Residence Inn.

2:15 pm. As soon as I opened the door and walked in, the receptionist looked up from behind the desk and said, "You must be Ty. I guess you found the place alright?"

She's lucky it wasn't someone else or she would have looked a little silly, but I guess she looked at me and saw a certain swagger, which in Texas is called "walking." Ha, sure, that was it... Actually, I'm really not sure how she knew it was me, but it really didn't matter, so I just went with it... "You must be Danielle. And yes, your directions got me here with no trouble atall." (She did give good instructions, but I didn't think she needed to be informed that GPSs are handy little buggers all by themselves.)

The smirk on her face said she was either pleased with my answer or thought it was cheesy, but she seemed happy either way when she said, "I'm not sure how you did it or what got into my boss, but you got one heck of a deal. Here are your keys for your room, and you can just leave them here at the desk when you check out in the morning. Let me know if there's anything else I can do for you."

Well, that made me feel like a winner. I was 2-for-2. Blazing solo overnight trip to make it in time for an interview - Check. Track down a decent room at an affordable price - Check. I scooped up the keys, and a hot shower and a nap were all I was concerned with as I said, "Hopefully I'll only need one key, but thanks for your help, Danielle; you've been a lifesaver," and made my way to my room. When I got there, this is what I found:

The thing had a full kitchen with wood floors and a King-size bed! For 60 bucks?.. Cha-ching!

I took a shower and hopped up on the bed to relax and watch TV for a bit. I had no intention of going to a Taylor Swift concert, but just for kicks I pulled out my laptop and logged onto the Residence Inn's wireless network to see if there were any cheap seats still available at the show.

To my surprise, at 3:00 pm there were still about 10 seats left up in the nosebleed sections of Arrowhead Stadium, ranging anywhere from $20 to $65. The gates were to open at 4:00, and the show was to start at 7:00. "Eh, it's 20 bucks, Arrowhead is just down the road, and the seat is at the top of stadium. Nobody will ever even know you're there, and if they do, they'll never see you again, so you might as well go," I thought to myself, so I went about purchasing my ticket to see Taylor Swift. If I had only known...

On the webpage where I purchased my ticket, there was an information box that said something like, "Get the most out of your Taylor Swift experience." It went on to explain how to go about getting passes to the meet-and-greets or where to find the tour bus (*buses...she has like four THOUSAND of them, as we from Lubbock who saw when her tour came to the United Spirit Arena know).

None of that really intrigued me. Taylor Swift + meet-and-greet = mobs of little girls = NOT somewhere I particularly wanted to be. There waaas one little bit of information that caught my eye, though. The article said that at a certain point in the show, Taylor's mom, Andrea, would go stand by the sound board until that part of the show was over, and if there was something you wanted to give to Taylor, people were usually able to walk by and give it to her mom at that point in the show. Apparently security didn't interfere with most people doing this as long as it looked like they were headed to or from their seats.

This got the wheels turning in my head. I didn't have anything I wanted to give Taylor, but I knew that one of my friends back in Lubbock was (is) a huuuuge T-Swift fan, and I knew that Taylor's "Speak Now" tour would be headed to Lubbock in a couple of weeks. I figured that if I could somehow make it possible for Taylor Swift to give a shout-out to my friend at her concert in Lubbock, or even give her a call or something, I would forever be on my friend's list of heroes.

So what did I do? I sat down at the little table you see in the picture above and wrote Taylor a letter about how sweet my friend was, how hard she works and what a good sister she is, and how excited she gets about any and all things "Taylor Swift." I went on to explain that if Taylor would only give her a call, or give a shout-out at her concert, how awesome that would be and that it would probably be the highlight of my friend's whole year.

I had every intention of just finding Scott (Taylor's dad) before the concert or Andrea during the concert and handing that letter to one of them, but that's not what happened...

I got to the stadium early to scope things out, and after mingling with the dedicated dads, boyfriends, and chauffeurs who all seemed to be clumping together (caveman voice, "men stick together") to avoid getting swept away by the throngs of fanatical teenage girls, they finally opened the gates and let us in.

I soon found out that in order to go down to the ground level, you had to have a ticket to a seat down there, and you had to have a pink wristband that showed security you were allowed to be there.
I didn't have a floor seat.
I didn't have a pink wristband.
Plan foiled.

Crap. Now what was I going to do? Since I had never been to Arrowhead, I figured I would I wander around the stadium for a while and see what there was to see.
I found a couple of information desks and chatted it up with some of the friendly event staff people who asked if I needed help with anything. "Well, not unless you can help me meet Taylor after the show," I would tease them, to which they would laugh and then tell me about different things to see in the stadium if I wanted to.

After a couple of leads of that sort, I found myself in the Kansas City Chiefs Hall of Fame, near another one of the many information desks. "Sweet! Guy-stuff, something I can actually find interesting until the concert starts," I was thinking.

I browsed through the bronze busts of all the KCC hall-of-famers, read all kinds of different plaques, and eventually made my way over close to the information desk, which was surrounded by people asking who-knows-what. Only this wasn't any ordinary information desk... This was like the "Information Headquarters," and one of the ladies behind the desk in a business suite wore a fancy name tag with "Event Director" engraved in it above her name. She wasn't answering questions; she was supervising. This lady looked like somebody I needed to talk to.

I made myself visible and when she spotted me, she motioned for me to to make my way through the mob of inquisitive T-Swift fans to go speak with her.
The crowd parted as I strode up to the counter, past several lines of fans waiting to ask the ladies questions.... The noise even died down a little.
Things seemed a bit tense.

"What can I help you with, sir?" she asked. This lady was one of our sisters-from-a-darker-mother, two inches taller than me, with a weave down to her waist that looked like it had kept a loom in business for quite some time, and I was pretty sure that she could have body-slammed me THROUGH that desk if she would have felt the need to.

"Well ma'am, I'm looking to get this letter to Taylor. This is why..." I explained the situation in the smoothest Texas drawl I could manage, "and you look like someone who could make it happen, so do you think you could help me out?" Mind you, this conversation took place in front of a significant number of fans, so there's no way she could say "yes" to one request like this without expecting to get 100 more. She wasn't nearly as mean as she looked, though, and once I got the conversation rolling, she and the other ladies working the desk thought I was just the sweetest young man for making such an effort to do something special for one of my friends.

After Ms. "Event Director" looked through her schedule to see if there were any hints she could give me, they all took a short break from the mob to tease me a little and ask a few more questions, and she finally sent me away with a laugh and a grin and a, "Hun, I'm sorry there wasn't more I could do to help you. Good luck, though!"

It was almost time for the concert to start, so as I wandered back through the Hall of Fame, I decided it was time to make my way back to my seat. When I emerged, I noticed a stairway that started at the covered area where I was standing and descended through the bottom section of seats to the corner of the stage where the performers would go back to the locker rooms. This section was roped off and people weren't allowed in it because one of the platforms for the show's fireworks was set up in the middle of it.


I had also noticed earlier in the day that I was dressed similar to the members of the event staff, and if I walked around like I was on a business errand, the other event staffers would nod, or wave, or at the very least not ask me any questions. I was wearing my nice jeans and boots, black Polo shirt, and my black Oakleys pushed up on my head where my hair was cut pretty short.

I still didn't have a ticket to a floor seat.
I still didn't have a pink wristband that would let security knoooow...
Waaaait a minute, who was in charge of where people were allowed to be?
III looked just like a security guard, only without the walkie-talkie.
A new plan began to form in my head:


I would wait until the end of the show, walk down to the corner of the stage in the roped-off section marked "Event Staff Only," and when the performers made their exit, I would ask the first person I could get the attention of if they would give my letter to Taylor...simple as that.


Well, it wasn't as simple as that, but it was definitely more fun!


I went back to my seat and watched the first half of the show with some really neat folks and their little kids I met in the seats next to me. Then, without really telling them where I was going, I just left and made my way down to the walkway I had spotted earlier. I didn't want them to know anything or have any connection to me if somehow I got in trouble... It was all for the kids, you know?


I went to the handrail that was roped off with caution tape and played the part of an event staff person on security detail for the second half of the show. I answered questions from wandering T-Swift fans, allowed people to take pictures from a designated vantage point beside the stage as long as they stayed behind the caution tape, and chatted with a couple of other security guards about how it would be nice to go get some coffee in the break room (it was getting cold out there) or get to go home at a decent hour.


I was on my game.


Then it was time. The fireworks started booming, the smoke and lasers fired up, and the grand finale was coming to an end. Pretty soon the performers would make their way back to the locker rooms, but I wasn't sure if it was completely safe to go down past the fireworks' stand. 


Then I saw the "real" pyrotechnician make his way down to the fireworks behind the stage and start unplugging things. I had the official look, and I figured I'd help him out, so I went down to the set-up in front of me, unplugged the cords that I could see and rolled them up, and then went and put them with the other cords he had already rolled up.


"Thank you, sir. I appreciate that," he said.


"No problem, man, I've got you!" I replied, and at that point I was at the end of the walkway, right at the corner the performers had to walk around to go back to the locker rooms, but there was a problem: most of the performers had already bolted off the stage to go get somewhere warm, and there weren't many left for me to talk to...

Then I saw her. Taylor Swift, walking down the ramp on the back of the stage, meeting her parents who had a blanket waiting for her... heading my way.

This was it. I didn't have time to get nervous; she was five steps away and her body guards had just materialized out of the equipment boxes behind her.

I caught her eye and held her gaze as she walked up. Three steps...Two steps...One step...

"Taylor, will you take this and read it?" I held the letter out to her.

She stopped, untangled her hand from her blanket, and took the letter from my hand, "Oh my gosh! Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome," I answered, and the next couple of seconds were a blur as a bodyguard stepped between us and I turned to walk away from Taylor Swift. She continued around the corner, down the tunnel that would take her to her dressing room. There were steps at my feet... I started climbing,  climbing up the steps that would take me out of Arrowhead Stadium to my pickup.

I had done it. I had gotten my letter to Taylor Swift. Not to Taylor's mom, but TO Taylor Swift...handed it to her, spoke to her, and she had actually looked me in the eye and responded!

Two sentences. She only said seven words to me, but those were seven AWESOME words as far as I was concerned. I was as giddy as one of those concert-crazed little girls, but once again, I had to play it cool as I walked to my truck.

Once I got there, I had to call my brother and a couple of friends to tell them what had just happened. I'm sure thousands of little girls have given or sent letters to Taylor Swift, and thousands more have said hi to her and she to them before or after concerts, but I doubt any of those little girls went all "mission impossible" and played the part of a security guard and pyrotechnician at one of Taylor's concerts!

Getting out of the parking lot took forever. Taking all the traffic-jammed detours and designated routes away from the stadium extended the journey back to my hotel by over an hour.

Sunday, 1:30 am: I got back to my room. Sunday, 4:00 am: I woke up, showered, and headed toward Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, to go to church with my old youth minister and his family at 9:00 am. We went to lunch together after worship service, and then I hit the road home.

It's almost eight hours from Broken Arrow to Lubbock, so I had plenty of time to think about what had taken place over the last 40 hours or so. During that time I tried to make sense of, and take lessons from, all that had happened. I had jumped on the opportunity to set up, and make it to, an "interview" after a roadtrip for the ages. I had gotten a *nice* hotel room for less than half of what the hotel would have normally charged. I had written a letter to none other than TAYLOR SWIFT and played the part of a security guard and pyrotechnician, allowing myself the chance to HAND that letter to her. I had run on minimal sleep and made it to church on Sunday with some of my favorite people in the world who I hadn't seen in a really long time. And after more toll roads than I care to drive over ever again, I was on pace to get back to Lubbock at a decent hour on Sunday evening.

As a matter of fact, the sun saw me rolling into Lubbock as it set over west Texas that evening, and I made it home safely.

Yep, that was the last time I felt like I had really "seized the day." It was actually three days or so, all rolled into what seemed like one loooong one because of the lack of sleep, but I had pretty much taken advantage of every opportunity that presented itself to me, and had even done so with a little bit of "style."

A grin crept its way onto my face as I opened my eyes and got off the bus that day. The best part about it was that that adventure had been 100% real. It wasn't a dream. I had pushed through and "made it happen" over the course of that weekend in September, I would make it happen again by the end of this week in March, and I'll make it happen in the future if I find my back against the wall.

After all of that story, it would probably make sense that it bothers me when I don't make the most of an opportunity. How is it that I can walk straight up to Taylor Swift under threat of being tackled, tasered, or arrested by bodyguards and ask her to read a letter, but I have a hard time asking someone on the bus at Tech how her day is going? How can I negotiate a deal that lets me stay in a super-nice hotel room for half of what it would normally cost to stay there, but I have a hard time visiting with my friends about things that matter, like friendship and faith?

This is what this whole blog spot has been driving at. This was meant as an encouragement to take hold of that boldness within yourself when you don't think you can do it anymore. Seize the day. Seize the moment. Make something of it.

The more I thought about what that guy's shirt said, the more I wanted to apply what I was thinking to my spiritual walk, and the more this passage of scripture came to mind:


"And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."


This passage comes from Colossians 4: 3-6, and the more I read it, the more it motivates me. I hope it will do the same for you.


If you made it through this whole thing, thank you for taking the time out of your day. I hope it's been a blessing, or at least kind of funny. You might want to go ice your eyeballs now, though. I really doubt the next entry will be even close to this long, and there's no telling when the next one will be.


Until next time, God bless and have a great rest of the weekend!


In Him,
-)Ty(-

This Little Light of Mine

Welcome back for another weekly dose of Friday reflections!
A few highlights from my week: 
1) Last weekend after I posted my first entry on here, I saddled up for a road trip to see one of my friends in Amarillo, and on the way home Sunday morning I got to stop for worship service where my mom grew up going to church and meet some sweet older folks who knew my mom and grandparents when they lived in Plainview. 
2) I didn't miss any classes during the week. 
3) I got to tap into my resourceful bag of tricks and I get a new debit card activated (oh yeah, I lost my wallet almost 2 weeks ago...talk a bout a HUGE monkey wrench getting thrown into stuff, but a learning experience in itself).
4) I left my keys on the bus one day, but I was lucky enough to have the same bus driver pull up to the bus stop when I was finished with classes two hours later, and sure as shootin' she had them with her!
5) I finished READING the Lord of the Rings trilogy...yeah, all of it.
6) I got to volunteer out at the Texas Tech Therapeutic Riding Center this morning, and
7) This afternoon I had a cool little Skype conversation with my cousin who just headed over to Switzerland for his new job!
8) We had a couple of awesome sunsets, a pretty awesome sunrise, and a couple of cool days with the smell of rain in the air this week (all of which I pretty much obsess over when they happen).


As the week wore on, I kept noticing a continuous theme from day to day that had to do with light. I read a neat little article that mentioned what light is, what it does, and what darkness is not. I read a different article about the relationship between J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, and was surprised to see how Tolkien helped Lewis to finally "see the light." The sunrises and sunsets this week showed how light could be bent and spread and separated to make beautiful colors. As I got toward the end of the Lord of the Rings, Frodo kept holding a glass trinket given to him by an elf queen that was intended to be a light for him "when all other lights go out." I started drawing a picture with a Sharpie pen the other night and had one of those "vwaaalah" moments when the light path and shading of the picture started to come together in my head. Once I started thinking about it, the lessons taught by a certain somebody about how we're supposed to be the "light of the world" came to mind. Pictures, copies of, or links to, the articles I read and things I saw this week are posted below:

Sunrise

Sunset

The relationship between J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis:
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2003/augustweb-only/8-25-52.0.html

-Does evil exist?
A university professor challenged his students with this question. Did God create everything that exists?
A student bravely replied yes, he did!"
"God created everything?" The professor asked.
"Yes, sir," the student replied.

The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God created evil since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are then God is evil."
The student became quiet before such an answer.

The professor was quite pleased with himself and boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said, "Can I ask you a question professor?" "Of course", replied the professor. The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?"

"What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?" The students snickered at the young man's question.

The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Everybody and every object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (- 460 degrees F) is the total absence of heat; all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have too little heat.

The student continued. "Professor, does darkness exist?"

The professor responded, "Of course it does".

The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present."

Finally the young man asked the professor. "Sir, does evil exist?"
Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course as I have already said. We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. "These manifestations are nothing else but evil."
To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is not like faith, or love, that exist just as does light and heat. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."
The professor sat down.

The young mans name --- Albert Einstein

Now, I'm pretty sure that was a fictitious story about Albert Einstein, and I'm of the opinion that what we perceive as evil does exist, but that God is not the cause of evil. The choice to leave God out of the equation usually results in evil, or at least that is my opinion. I love the comparison between God's love and light. Powerful imagery is created by visualizing how God's love drives away evil as light drives away darkness.

So what has made me happy this week? Light...and I guess you could say love, aaaand a few little unexpected adventures. I think the thoughts, pictures, and articles speak for themselves, so I hope you've had a super-happy Friday and I'll leave you with this verse for the upcoming week:

"For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness' made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ."...2 Corinthians 4:6

A Fresh Start

Welcome one and all!

This is definitely something new for me; writing is not something that I particularly enjoy doing (especially on a regular basis), but I get the feeling that taking time to sit down (on Fridays) and reflect on the good things that have happened each week will be a blessing to me, and I hope it can be some sort of blessing or source of inspiration for others as well. Here are some things you can expect to see (or not to see) on this particular blog:

This blog is intended to be a reflection on the things I experience each week that bring a smile to my face. You can expect to read positive, cheesy, or even comical stories. You can also expect to read some stories that are a little more serious, and instead of offering a humorous, giddy, "happy" feeling, those stories will most likely recount instances in which I felt or experienced genuine joy. You won't read anything that is directly negative or depressing. If anything starts out sounding like a sad sob-story, just know that a turnaround is coming and the boo-hoo part is only background information to something good. Expect scripture references, inspiration quotes, and even a cool picture or two every once in a while.

Don't expect perfect punctuation, grammar, or spelling for that matter. I'll do my best, but I mean, c'mon; I'm a west-Texas country boy and engineering major, not an English expert, even though that is my first and pretty much only language. Expect to read things from the first, second, and third-person perspectives, and you better be on your toes when dealing with verb tenses because I'll jump around a lot. Most of the time I do that on purpose, but you just never know. Expect lots of wells, contractions, "...'s," and apparently made-up words. Roll your eyes, crack a grin, sigh in exasperation, or react however you want to when you see them, but get ready because they'll be there!.. It's just a personal writing flavor thing.

Also expect random tangents or side thoughts. I'll really try not to get long-winded, but sometimes random inspiration strikes and I just have to go with it for a bit. Don't worry, though; it all ties back together in the end...most of the time. Anyway, I think you are now prepared to get a first taste of what's to come on this HappyFridayFlections page, so HERE. WE. GO...

The title of this entry is "A Fresh Start." I've just finished the first full week of classes for the spring semester of 2012 here at Texas Tech University. Last semester was pretty rough, but this one looks like it could be a really good one (hence the "fresh start")! As I have been trying to get back into the school routine after being gone for Christmas break, I have run into lots of my engineering buddies in classes that I didn't really expect to see any of them in, and it's always nice to see familiar faces in new classes.

In one of my classes, my friend Marshal grabbed the last open seat on my row, which happened to be right next to me. We exchanged the normal, "Hey, how was your break?" chit-chat while we waited for class to begin, but the teacher was taking his sweet time getting his stuff together so Marshal and I got to move on to other, "deeper" levels of discussion. He then asked, "Well man, what was the best part of your Christmas break, besides the presents, and the chance to sleep, aaaand fact that we had over a month off from school?" That, my friends, was a tough question indeed...very specifically restricted it was.

I started to say that the ski trip I got to go on was the best part of my holiday. That was definitely fun, but as the wheels of memory started turning, another (way more encouraging) turn of events from the Christmas break came to mind and I began my answer with, "Hhhmm, well there was this girl.." Go figure, right? Yeah, there sure was! It's not what you think, though...

I'll just recall the story for you as I did for Mr. Marshal:
You see, there was this girl I didn't ever think I would get to talk to again. Things had happened quite a while back that I really didn't understand. All I knew was that I was not supposed to talk to her. "Just leave her be," I told myself, "you'll only make things worse," and letting her be was exactly what I did.

It was one of those things where you feel like the little puppy who hasn't been house-trained yet... In the wrong place at the wrooong time. Somehow a mess appears in the floor that you didn't really think was your fault, but about the time you think it's not a big deal, the mother of three kids who has cleaned up 4,000 messes already that day walks in and sees it, decides that's the last straw, grabs you by the scruff of the neck and proceeds to rub your nose in it and then bodily fling you out the door. Yeah it was kinda like that feeling, except nobody grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and rubbed my nose in anything. I did, however, have that helpless, hopeless, and worried feeling that I had just been permanently hurled into the dog house of this young lady and that I might as well get comfortable because I wasn't getting out any time soon, even though I wasn't really sure what had just happened.

Time passed, though, and while I was home for the Christmas break one of my friends asked if I had anything going on on that particular night. I said no, that I was just hanging out with my folks at home, and then she said she was at Sonic and asked if any of us wanted anything. My mom and brothers and I were fine, but my dad said he wanted a cherry Dr. Pepper or something, so I relayed the message. Shortly after that, the doorbell rang and I went to answer it. When I opened the door, it wasn't just my friend who was there, but her younger sister as well... the owner of the proverbial doghouse into which I had been hurled earlier in this story.

I'm not going to lie...my heart skipped a beat or two and jumped up in my throat. A million and one things went through my brain at the same time that it was stricken with a dumb, numb nothingness. There she was, dancing on my front porch to stay warm because of the cold while holding out a full Sonic drink for me to take (my dad's, mind you...). I stood there with the door handle in my hand, trying to un-stick my tongue from the top of my mouth and make my face force out some word or something, or aaanything, while my brain was screeching, "Don't you do it! Say anything else and you might as well consider yourself one shovel-full deeper in that hole you're digging!"

So I channelled my inner Sherlock Holmes and went back to the step-by-step basics: 1) Let go of door handle. 2) Take the drink and say, "Oh hey, thanks! Y'all get in here out of the cold!" 3) Give drink to dad. 4) Shut door behind them. 5) Ask what they've been up to lately. 6) Let it go from there.

I finally managed to gather myself, and as it turns out, it was a fun evening of movie-watching, catching up on the latest drama, and a few sketchy games of pool... It felt like I got to stick my head out of the doghouse and sniff the fresh air. Text conversations followed after they went home that night and continued for the next week or so until I got to go on the ski trip I mentioned earlier. At that time I felt like things had blown over enough that it was safe to express thankfulness for this young lady taking me off of her "bad list," to which she replied that things had been rough, but that I never was on her "bad list."

There it was: the statement I had been praying to hear, or at least pretty close to it anyway. It wasn't a dramatic, tear-filled moment with a stressful build-up and outpouring of emotion... Nope, it was a Sonic drink, a movie, a few teasing jabs about my pool-playing skills, a handshake turned into a hug, and a text a week or two later that all equalled, "It's ok. I forgive you." That sense of relief was unlike anything I have felt in a long, long time.

Now, you want to talk about a fresh start?!? That was right at the start of 2012, and what a way to kick it off... I had gotten to experience "for-real" forgiveness, and was shown what it looks like and how to do it. Sure, it was almost a month ago already, but when Marshal asked what the best part of my Christmas break was, that was it...hands down. As I was telling him that story, a smirk on his face turned into a grin, a grin turned into a smile, and the smile just kept getting bigger until I finished the story and he said, "Wow, yeah man...that's a good feeling." I'm pretty sure what we shared right then qualified as a "bro-moment," and getting to tell him that story over again gave me almost as much joy as experiencing it first-hand about a month ago.

There are a couple of things I took away from this chain of events, so here's the challenge as I see it: 1) Count your blessings. Once a day, or once a week, or whenever, sit down and reflect on the good things life has to offer. Those reflections will help you see through the tough times. 2) Take an active role in forgiveness. Seek it, offer it, give it when you have the opportunity... You never know how much it might mean to somebody, and it is an absolute relief off your own shoulders when it's granted.

That's all I have for today. I got a little long-winded with what to expect in the weeks to come, so I'll leave the inspirational scriptures and quotes and what-not for later weeks. I encourage comments and feedback; just keep them positive! I was too late to post this on Friday, so happy weekend and, Lord willing, I will see you all again next Friday!

In Him,
-)TY(-